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Need some tough love on my Iron Facets project. It is raw, unedited, and need a lot of linguistic polishing, but I'm fairly happy about where it has landed.

It is a description-centered fantasy story game, with few numerics or scores, influenced by several game mechanics (PbtA, FitD, Fate/FAE, Cthulhu Dark, Sorcerers & Sellswords). Due to license specifications regarding adaptations, I'm inclined to release this under something else than the CC BY 4.0 it has now.

docs.google.com/document/d/151

@svalander I'm going to give you the toughest love I've ever gotten in my designing career, and I've only read up to page five.

"What makes your system special?" Why would anyone play your system over the other systems you've taken inspiration from? What makes your system better than those other systems?

Once you answer that question, put that reason FRONT AND CENTER. Ram it into the face of the reader, have it catch their attention! It's WHY they should play your game, so make 'em know it!

@hawkjohenson That's one of the best feedback comments I've had so far. I thought I was clear, but obviously not so. Big up!

@svalander Do you need review on the Facets Engine or Iron Facets itself?

@Yoric I would love to, but as it is in an early feedback stage I have had a lot of good comments coming in. I'd really like to catch them before doing so. Would that be ok? I'm planning to put up a revised 'beta' quite soon, and that seems like a good point of doing so... maybe. Just don't get me wrong, I'm really happy you reached out to me! A rewview would be awesome!

@svalander Reading up on Iron Facets. Looks fascinating.

Thanks @ghosthand - glad to hear you like it. :))) It's still pretty rough around the edges, but I hope to even them out over the coming weeks. Let me know if something is unclear or if you find any strange expressions and such. English is not my mother tongue :)

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