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Hello, I'm Corina/nekobakaz (she/her) New to Mastadon, I play a bunch of stuff, and am building my first Pathfinder campaign. originally here in case tumblr dies, but I'll never say no to a good gaming community

things I've totally said in game:
"DM, religion or arcana, how much do I know this bitch?" -encountering a goddess
"Hey, let's use Strength for that check, cause it's funny." choice btwn dex or str check.
"okay, so that's a Radiant dmg Flaming Sphere cause fuck these ghosts"
"no, see, you're getting resuscitated cause you're not as scary as Lolth"
campaign

today is game. I'm recovering from a cold, so we're playing online.

DM Andrew has been making more magic items for the party. Like having us all maxed out on attunement slots at level 7 isn't enough. "let's crank the overpowered party to 11!!" he says
my Aasimar necromancer? she's getting symbiote that does an assortment of things. DM wrote a five page drabble on how she finds said symbiote

my group is switching campaigns every week; last week was , this week we're returning to our homebrew sandbox of an game. Last session in that campaign, we had been flung off a cliff, down a waterfall that enters a pit that no one knows where it goes.
a demiplane. it goes to a demiplane of bones.
our secret group name is The Bonewalkers.
goddamn Andrew!!!


We go to the funeral service. and oh boy. A bunch of strength checks, and the kids dump their dad into the grave
"DEATH HAS NO CONSEQUENCE!" Rogue yells, and we wrap it up for the session.
DM gave me cookies to take home.

our Rogue was running towards the battle, but partway there decided not to bother.
The kids (I say of two adults) run out of the house and provide some well needed melee.
DM rests his head on the desk from the many crit fails he's rolling for the zombies.
And once again, I kill the last zombie with Divine Smite.

our Rogue decided to stay back, pretending to be a ninja, and "sunning" herself on a rock.
The rest of us went to check on the dead guy's kids. Turns out there's zombies at their door. Momma Wizard cast Shatter, causing damage and alerting EVERYONE.
Cue a battle with all the characters that DON'T have AC (I mean, mine is 17, but was the highest) and Momma doesn't have Mage Armor. I switched back and forth from healing and radiant damage.

tonight was our first session in person. Fully vaxxed, of course.
So we started out having finished battling the priest's undead son. I finished it off in a burst of blood from my Divine Smite. Then we cleaned up, had dinner, and slept till morning.
Returning to the temple, we found the priest in an open grave. Got him out and I dug the rest of the grave. Then we started to have a funeral service, but his kids weren't there

the last attack of the battle was from me
I decided to hit the vampire with my staff. 18+3 to hit
burned my last spell slot for Divine Smite
1d6+1 bludgeoning, plus 3d8 radiant (2d8 + 1d8 against undead)
vampire had 3hp left
I exploded the vampire in a rain of blood

"I have such a good plan for my turn"
me and the former elf "oh no"
"I mean, it's an actually good plan, not a stupid plan"

so we're trying to break into a trap door. Neither strength check or thieves tools are working
so the rogue pours oil on the door, and lights it on fire with her torch.
the entire floor is wood.
so she tries to use water from her water skin to control the fire.
DM asks for a roll to Bullshit Physics. She passes.
Once there is a hole, she jumps down. of course.

after a bit of persuasion, we get permission to Put Down the priest's vampire son. who's locked in the basement. We get there and the vampire is all "father, please let me out"
me "I ain't your daddy"
vamp "oh, let me out, he locked me in here"
me "okay sure. how was Strahd's castle?"
v "very nice, you should visit some day"
me "well, maybe we will"
v "oh, we can go together! I'll show you the way!!"
me "hmmm, right"

so, we're pallbearing, and one of the wizards and our rogue is very mournfully singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and making the NPCs cry

Hexblade, talking about meeting the Raven Queen and dimensions and gods in general
Me "this is getting pretty meta in front of the NPCs"
one of the NPCs "... what did you call me?"
both hexblade and me "er... Non-Party Character, yeah!!"

our hexblade facing the Raven Queen, who's asking how he's been accessing her power
Hexblade "... I don't know, sorry???"

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