Canageek (Roleplaying account) @Canageek@tabletop.social

This month's contest entry is Crokek’toeck, the Styx-dwelling mount of Yeenoghu, god of the gnolls. It is big enough to carry medium-sized miniatures in its mouth; in the adventure he is from, he crawls up on the bank of the river (partly like a mudskipper, partly with his tongues) and disgorges masses of demons.

My blending skills have leveled up significantly, thanks to getting some actual acrylic medium...

You know those little snippets of text in pre-gen campaigns that describe a location? Like "The lanterns in the tavern burn low. A cauldron boils over the fire while the barkeep polishes a glass behind the counter." I don't know what those are called in TTRPG, but in improv we call that "scene painting"

Anyway, send me your favorite one of those (with a link to the source).

anyways, please enjoy local communist kobold bard, Tennessee Ernie 'Bold, singing her heart out on this fine day.

Tennessee Ernie 'Bold ("Ten" or "Ernie" to her friends) is sitting on a stool across the tavern. Her tail is closer to touching the ground than her feet. Her scales are a cool, stony grey, and she is drinking, laughing, and smiling with an entire mouth full of sharp teeth. She wears loose-fitting clothing clearly made for someone two or three times her size, especially the big, floppy flat-top hat falling over her eyes. When she stands up on the stool to get the bartender's attention, one or two shimmering topaz scales shine through from her exposed hip. When she reaches down to tighten her belt, her brilliant blue eyes poke out from under her hat.

And then the light starts to get to her, her eyes vanish again, and she starts leading her drinking buddies in a song. She sets down her drink, starts tapping out the rhythm with her knuckles on the bar, and leads with the lyrics until her friends join in. She keeps the beat going with one claw and while she reaches towards her back, past her rapier, and grabs her instrument. It's like if a kobold fashioned a proto-banjo from a chair leg, a crate, and an animal skin stretched taut, because that's what it is. As soon as the chorus begins, her claws are deftly plucking notes with the best of them. The whole room is full of music and song and she's having the time of her life.

A friend is taking over as our tabletop group's DM, and he talked about his setting yesterday and told us not to get married to anything until we can do session zero

Unfortunately, he said "kobold" and "company store" and I can't stop thinking about Tennessee Ernie 'Bold, the travellin', anticapitalist kobold bard

I've been thinking about Tennessee Ernie 'Bold for about 24 hours now and I'm pretty sure this idea is now my common law wife

- wears human-sized clothes that are way too big for her, including a hat that she usually lets fall over her eyes. She's not used to the daylight yet, you see.
- Born in raised in a cave, has the grey, stony scales to prove it. She has a few extra-shiny topaz-colored scales speckling her body, and pretty eyes to match.
- Prefers string instruments, given her built-in picks, but she'll find herself playing anything that makes noise. Including, say, a teammate's head if she managed to talk herself into getting carried.
- She's got the wanderlust something bad, which is why she especially resents, say, being held in debt bondage by a company town
- She's gonna organize so many unions
- Tail pouches?
- Definitely has a thing for tall women, which is easy when you're three feet tall.
- she can and will top a dragon. don't think she won't
- I'm gonna sing so much, you guys

megacorporation spends trillions of dollars into funding the development of a new colour, only to discover that nobody's brains know how to perceive it so it just looks purple to everyone

i know just enough lore that i can justify this and not an ounce more. things orcs make work because they believe it will work. orcs see shit being done for the purpose of aesthetics. because femininity is a bit of a faff, they figure that it must be faff with a pretty big purpose. because of this to them it actually does create immense power. then it just spirals. there is also glitter

..........i bet you could make EVERYONE hate you in a warhammer battle by busting out glitter

anyway then i get banned from the shop after somebody's super serious grimdark space marines are obliterated with a YOU BETTA WORK by an orc who has mounted a machine gun in her titties (booby trap, innit) and has a seven foot long train on her dress with feather edging,

it is that some of the orcs realize that, since they are a bunch of mushrooms, gender is meaningless to them and there's no reason to be masculine. especially not when in their research they have heard about these ancient warriors of the humans who smeared red paint on their faces and lips, definitely to go faster the orcs can only assume. after all, they had an entire race named after them! the drag race!

CLEARLY, THEY MUST BE EMULATED.

it's probably a good thing i am not interested in getting into warhammer because i have exactly one idea for a warhammer army and i think it is one that would get me glared out of nearly every gaming shop

Itch are raising money for the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund and Community Bail Fund with a massive bundle containing over 700 DRM-free games: https://itch.io/b/520/bundle-for-racial-justice-and-equality

There's also some smaller bundles which are donating proceeds to bail funds: https://itch.io/b/513/black-lives-matter-support-bundle https://itch.io/b/516/indie-games-for-bail-funds